* In case you’re wondering if I’m blatantly mocking a certain bloviating jackass, yes, yes I am.

To working moms:

On many, many occasions, you will have come across simpering odes to that paragon of virtue, that personification of the sun upon this earth, that proud maverick courageously rejecting the false promise of feminism – the stay at home mom. And you may have wondered to yourself, why is this asshole writing about this topic, and why is he approaching it like that? Does he really think that the right way to raise these women up and defend them is to be condescending and repulsive? 

Well, you don’t need me to tell you that this is sweet, sweet fodder for the uninformed, the simple-minded, the people so enticed by a rigidly monolithic view of the world and gender roles that these types of posts and articles seem a refreshing and important validation for an increasingly rarefied way of living. Praise the stay at home mom! It takes such valour to reject the enticements of the Industrial age and modern-day consumerism and really know what’s important. Motherhood should be promoted, and the institution of the family should be defended! After all, who else knows what it’s like to sacrifice everything for another person? After all, what’s the point of this “having a job” business other than “personal advancement”, which really, why do women need to trouble themselves with at all? It’s unnatural! It’s certainly not in accord with their true talent, which is to use their abilities to serve others. 

Because it’s not like mothers generally, and parents generally, and people generally, use their abilities to serve others through their lifestyles and careers and choices. Certainly not in a way that could rival the efforts and sacrifices and impact of a full-time mother! Oncologists, astronauts, pioneers, public health workers risking their lives to administer vaccines to the world’s poorest people, police officers, entrepreneurs driving the growth of our economies, teachers – bitches, please. Know where you rank on the hierarchy, having chosen to see “the professional world,” that Babylon, as an end in and of itself.

But you know all of this. The people who don’t know probably won’t be convinced by anything I have to say.

Pay no attention to them. They don’t deserve to be taken seriously.

Besides, you’ve got better things to do with your time.